KUREI -

2006-09-13T14:09:00.000+08:00

Had this really weird, yes and i do mean weird dream about someone. That person was clinging on to me and we were rolling around the whole floor. lol. I have no idea what the hell we were doing, it was just darn funny. Been playing lots of songs lately. Tried recording them into my pc but well u noe the quality of a lousy mic gives u a lousy quality outcome. There's something i cannot explain for a very long time. Nvm that this is what i came over on the net pretty interesting and the comments of this were really hilarious too.

Down here are some typical rejection lines that girls would always use. Are those words in the bracket what they really think is another question. Anyway the kill lines are no.10 and no.1. Guys if u ever been directed by these arrow shots don't feel bad la. There are many other girls out there.

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that pest. And I'm not into incest either.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest freak I've ever laid eyes upon.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend (He's my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).

5. I don't date men where I work. (Actually, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have fun with. It's that male perspective thing)

Now here are the comments:

"I find 1.)The Friendship Trap the most terrifying one of all. No matter what you do, you lose.

Continue being a friend, and other girls will think that you don't mind that sort of platonic stuff... so you end up as the loser who has 10 best female friends, but with a sex life that extends to two options: left hand and right hand. And everyone (interestingly, except the 10 gals in question) will be aware of your just-lacks-that-shaggable-factor status.

Stop being a friend and fade out, and you're suddenly a shallow asshole."

"Actually nice reject line mean God has mercy on you...
better than gal tell you straight in the face "siow ah, go look in the mirror lah" or "you si mi sia, want to date me" etc.."

You're a god.

2006-09-06T01:33:00.000+08:00

I've got to be honest,i think you know. We're covered in lies and thats ok . There's somewhere beyong this, i know, but i hope i can find the words to say. Never again, no. No never again. Cause you're a god and i am not and i just thought that you would know. You're a god and i am not so i just thought i'ld let you go. But i've been unable to put you down, still learning things i ought to know by now. It's under the table so i need something more to show somehow.

2006-08-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

Been watching animes, lots and lots of animes that can match up to the number of jap shows as compared to someone.(the brocoli, friend of the cauliflower. And for some unknown reason i was the tomato.). ROFL. Some anime theme songs really rock and some really suck. Just heard the national day rally(was it called so?) on tv, freaking boring. Anyway thats beside the point. TV these days are getting real bored, can they start thinking out better shows to play?? I'll definitely be gald if they were to show a whole full day of anime.

Wasted the whole night fooling away killing time, was actually up here to chat with someone. So i studied a little today(really little). Yea, when tmr comes i guess i really woudln't be studying at all. IBM's a really great company, just ring them and they would bring a brand new part and exchange it for ur spoilt one. You see, my cd-combo drive went cranky and it had to got replaced which limited my source of gaming, fortunately(however) the new one would be coming tomorrow morning which means the limitations are forgone.

Met a friend the other day on the streets. Was going home after perchasing some stuff, then i saw this tanned girl walking infront of me with a black dog in her hand. It took me a while to realise that the dog looked familiar. LOLx. She was taking the bridge and like the normal me, i took the road instead. She was supposingly ahead of me but it ended up me infront so for another unknown reason i stopped and turned back only to see her. We exchanged hand-waves and carried on taking our own paths, but something she did made me curious. She was running, but the dog in her hand was no where in sight. LMAO. So the question still lies, where did the dog go?? LOL.

Anyway, anyhow, days are really boring without having someone to talk to. LOL.

IMPT!!!SORRY!!!

2006-08-19T02:31:00.000+08:00

To those who recieved an annonymous msg from me, it wasn't i who sent it. Someone took my phone and meddled with it. So for that sorry. Nothing much to go about blogging. This entry is just to let ppl whom had recieved what they shouldnt, know about the matter.

2006-08-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

Well not much for today just that went out with randy in the morning for supper. Drove the mazda rx7 over and met him. Then we called albert up to see if he wanted to come and we could have gone over to fetch him, but he declined the offer oh well. Had a really long talk with the old man. Then sent him off. After that went home. Woke up around 330 met MIA drove over to rockport for fun. Haha. Dad's out of town thats why i can drive around at night. It was fun to drive. Exhilerating to see the trees zoom by. And Miss Rosalind update pls!

LOL

2006-08-15T02:01:00.000+08:00

A day not going school seems fun. Haha. I have all the time i want to myself and not to mention the silence and peace. Was talking to a heartbroken friend(no mentioning of name) of mine, was chatting about his bitter-sweet love life, until he said something like "actually the best person for us, is the one who we always talk to although they are not really our dream kind of partner" so coincidentally it reminded me of the lame ass show My Super ex-galfren the show where guys are so vulnerable. Anyway kinda agree with what he said, i mean the best person who knows ourselves are those who we talk to constantly. As we talk to them they become the ones who understand us most, although the idea of becoming partners never really crossed over our brain because they are not the so-called dream girl/guy of ours.

Next he said "how often can we find the 100% or even the 75% match-up to our standard." And then i couldnt answer him. I mean how would you answer a question like that? LOL

Ok enough of our little friend there let's head on to other stuffs, but there's nothing much to cause i stayed home the whole day.

She hates me.

2006-08-13T04:22:00.000+08:00

Met a girl, thought she was grand,fell in love, found out first hand. Went well for a week or two,then it all came unglued. In a trapped trip I can't grip, never thought I'd be the one who'd slip.Then I started to realize,that I was living one big lie.

She was queen for about an hour,after that it got sour. She took all I ever had. No sign of guilt, no feeling of bad.

She hates me. Trust. She freaking hates me.la la la love. I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none and ripped them away.

That's my story, as you see learned my lesson and so did she.Now it's over and i'm glad 'cause i'm a fool for all i've said.
-she hates me; puddle of mudd

This is one great song from a funny movie My super ex-girlfriend. Watched if a few hours ago with one of least expected person, my cousin. That was a rather horny/ funny movie, but it was worth watching. haha. Anyway from that movie we can see how wicked girls can be, so becareful not to piss em off. haha. As i'm talking there's a lizard on my table, no idea how it got here but its annoying. Besides i hate lizards. They for one to me are a disgusting group of living organsm. Apart from that, there's a freaking mosquito flying around me. It had better fly out before i squish it dead. There's nothing much more i can think of to blog about.

HELLO!!!!

2006-08-10T00:49:00.000+08:00

Things are getting really interesting lately from talking alot suddenly to a few people to the GROWING POPULARITY of my blog. WOW! And the best thing, i dun remember telling anyone much about the urls, so that leads me down to 1 question, HOW DID YOU GUYS FIND MY BLOG'S URL!? I don't know why but somehow this is weird, i'm getting this feeling again. Something i managed to shut off for a very long time, it's coming back. This time if it were to i've made up my mind. This time if i was given the opportunity again i won't flung it away. Yes! Remember this i have given up on the past already, towards the future i blast off!

Today was national day. Anyone ever wondered why do we respect the country and sing its praises only today? Isit the atmosphere that triggers the enthusiasm within a person to do things that they seem bored to do with, to cheer and scream out loud over it just because everyone else is?? Or rather am i deprived of national day celebrations (highly impossible).

Yea , haven't updated for a long time. Here again i 've got somethings to say to certain people. Erm. Because of me(to me that is), our freaking months of hard-work went down the drain just in that instant where i dropped the thing. Its natural for you all to get angry with me over that but i just want to say i'm sorry? I'm not here to try explain that it wasn't my fault and blame it on others but, mistakes do happen ok?? Its not like i want to either. For those who do not understand what is written here, here's the solution. We lost the competition, from supposingly second(thats wad i heard) to 6/11.

Been busy lately with school stuff(maybe from what i view it'll be busy). Hectic schedules weird extra lessons coming up here and there, but its ok! Things will work out somehow <- now that is my catch phrase nowadays and i dunno why. Talking to people like Rosalind chuan linn and blah blah blah(the list goes on), and they are all starting to read ->HERE<-. Reason: unknown

For those who read, how in the world did u all find this??

2006-07-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

I stare into the mirror to see a stranger glaring back at me. I no longer know who that person in the mirror is. He is competitive, over confident and definately a little unsocialble. Who is he what has happened to the old person in there? Has this competition been a opportunity to expose my talents or a misfortune to turn me into a monster like he is? I seriously have no freaking answer. With the competition date nearing i'm not the least nervous but stressed. When people around you say that you are good, isit out of console or do they really mean it i have no freaking idea. I no longer half the person i used to be thats for sure. With school work and trainings almost everyday and unwanted responsibility all these are driving me crazy. I want to run away from all these to be relaxed and self-paced in anything i do with no one to rush me and stupid acts. Sooner or later if this goes on i'm going to be a member of the IMH. I have become superbly independent, trained from the age of 9 i've been left to fend for myself. All i can say now is i am a person who doesn't have much feelings for any of my family members, everytime i see them they have the fear in their eyes and i have no answer as to why. Perhaps it's just me and my wild thoughts. I've been planning lately the road of my future and 1 of my goals is to move out as soon as possible. Not that i can't stand my parents or have any conflicts with them its just leaving alone is not much of a difference when i'm at home with them, it's the same. I'm becoming a loner not that my friends are deserting me or what but somehow i'm rejecting all the people around me, i'm a weird ass. Perhaps all these are just the side effects of too much trainings meetings for projects or even school that i need a good break to go into retreat to a place far away where no one knows who i am or what i've done. In short i need a good break. Perhaps i'll disappear again for a few months and come back only when i'm ready. Till then lets hope West coast ldt hasn't dropped to a very bad state. Contradictary, i have the thoughts of bringing up the name first before leaving it.

2006-06-16T02:51:00.000+08:00

If one needs to find a world to describe life, i would pick the word "irony". In life the many things we say contradict with the actual thoughts we have deep within the soul. When people go saying "if you really love that person just let her be happy with whoever she is with" but think deep down inside wouldn't you wish that you could be the one that she's happy with? Ironic ain't it. And in this world i do not believe in being consoled by another in times of disaster. Simply because who cannot shoot what their thoughts are when they are not the ones going through the agony and pain? Sentences like "just forget about her" are so simple to say even a toddler could say it to you, but when it appeals to them can they do it easily? Hyprocricy is what makes up a person. Just like my cousin, magnificant hyprocrite infront of you he says the wonders about you from your looks to your character, but infront of another he turns you into a run down loser nothing better than a beggar. (similar things have happened to the sentence above but that was just an example) One would claim to love another till the end of the world, if tomorrow would be the end, would he be clinging on to his own life or really hugging tight the one he loves in his arms?

2006-06-14T15:44:00.000+08:00

It has been exactly 2 weeks since i last updated my life on this virtual dairy. Technology advances so fast that from writing we now type instead. First, lets talk about the inevitable class outing that i went for. Didn't really want to attend it though (due to some disputes i have with some people). Thought that the movie would replace the outing timing allowing me to create an opportunity to *siam the gathering, but sad to say the movie ended too early and i just went for it. Everyone still looks the same and behave the same way except for me i guess. In the past i would still join them in their kiddish talkings but now i find no way to fit myself in, perhaps i've matured and grown. Nvm bout them.

Trainings are getting more and more and more. I don't really have enough rest though with JIJI's pushing hurrying me here and there i know we all want to do good and go into taka but dude could u spare some thoughts for me? I mean when i see others train its always the head who tells the tail his problems, so why isit the other way round for me? Ironic ain't it, but i guess its ok. At least we get along, and we won't turn into another demin and kevin case. I'm not as optimistic as i use to be in trainings, in short i cant really concentrate when i want to train but my hearts somewhere else.

Hearts gone astray deep in her where they go, she's constantly running around in my mind. Doesn't she feel tired? i mean she keeps runnning around but she never seems to run out. WHY? Unexplainable perhaps it is i that keeps her in there and not let her out. I seriously hope she would read this but i don't think she ever will, besides even if she does, so what? It wouldn't change much would it? Damn, she's constantly on my mind, from the time i wake up to the time i close my eyes. I mean she's everywhere i go worse of all she's all that i know. The feelings just keep getting strong everyday though she's like so far away even now when she's gone i can't explain why the hell am i still holding on. Her friends are like telling me if i really love i've to set her free to her happiness but deep within me i seriously don't want to let her go. If she'll return to me someday i'll spread my wings out wide to invite her back and embrace her with warmth. Why do we always dream bout those whom we adore when we know their never there and all the times when we try to act so brave infront of them when we know deep in we're shaking? But there's nothing much we can do but hope and pray that someday they'll return to us.

All these crap i typed them yesterday in hope of a miracle, but basically today..........

I AM SCREWED!

jj is dead....so all you ppl out there can just fuck off and leave him alone.

2006-05-31T02:10:00.000+08:00

After so long i am here to blog again. For that, HELLO people after much days of missing and the absence of myself. Well, still i am here to blog again. The weeks been a long and boring one, nothing much interesting going around just that, i'm seeing those i haven't seen in a while? Went out with cc and cy on monday, post-bday dinner with them. They got me a nice shirt? Erm two i mean, relatively nice designs but as for the colour, why purple? LOL. This year's birthday was a little different, this year i spent half the day at souel gardens( <.< not sure if it's spelt correctly) with my gang, the ANTI-KATHIK. LOL. Sad to say, i'm losing the will to carry on with participating in competition, just looking at the way my teammates behave. They are already getting on with age and they still behave like little kids, so much with the "You don't let me, i don't take part" attitude. I mean so what if you're not the star this year? There's always next year, the year after and the year year after. GOsh! I think i'm more mature than they are! LOL. Jiji's always pressing me to go further than my limits(is that my limit?) always requiring alot lately,but oh well its training afterall so we should be expecting this kind of shit afterall we all do wanna get into the second stage don't we? I don't know why but it seems as though there's only me and jiji working hard for this comp. We're mugging in a way. Was wondering a while ago when would we be able to have a full-scale training schedule where everyone comes down ON TIME and star training maybe then my morale would boost? West coast is becoming a free training ground. People do not have to book it, all they have to do is come down. I mean since its called west coast shouldn't it be meant for it's members only? So why then do we have weird people coming down? Haix. Seriously wonder what shifu, that old man is thinking. Yes he has to teach many many others but still does he have to drag them all down to WC? I am already having 4 days of ineffective training, why ineffective i'll explain below.

Tuesdays- Yes training hard and i mean hard like jumping many times? But there in SP we lack the props to trian, so in short theres nothing much trained out and shi fu isn't there.

Thursdays- similar problems as tuesdays just that shi fu is there.

Fridays- Yes we've learn in geography that overcrowding causes many problems such as land dedegration and over gazing. Well this is applicable to WC. With so many people there training one doesnt absorb much nutrients there which lead to a lack of attention somewhere.

Sunday- The worst day of all. The area given is minute and constraint. Further more the training equipments are like far away from all the other days, worst still its in the morning when the sun just rises and i'm still half asleep.

All these problems lead to the lowering of morale and the lost of will to compete. So much for all the complains lets head on to the reporting session of my upcoming life. Alright i have to admit that jesslind(the ine in my class) is indeed attracting my attention to her? But still she already has a boyfriend (unconfirmed) well it doesn't matter i'ld still prefer to be single for now. Yes! Chalet is next week finally get a chance to get away from trainings and home. These mosters around creates horrific footages in my life, i need to break away from them. And rejoice for this is the last week of term 1! HOORAY! Which means a month long of holiday awaits me, but is it really holiday? Guess not. Having thermo test and electronics test in the first few weeks of term 2, disgusting. I am up this early wednessday morning blogging about when i should be asleep under my blanket embracing its warmth and i have to be in school by 8 tmr? I doubt i'll be early unless mum goes on a rage and kicks me out of the bed, i'm exagerating, its not that serious, i just need her to chant and i'll move. As time is a factor in the way people do things or rather are forced to do things as the needle moves, i have to terminate my entry till here. "Times is void, void is emptiness." These are words that monks always use apparently i don't see why time is emptiness, but all i know is that anger leads to fear, fear leads to hatred and hatred leads to all sufferings. So the recipe to this annoying situation is the total erradication. Nono. The real answer as to really end sufferings is to trust and obey in our father above, Christ the Savior. Hallehlujah.

Guess who's back!?

2006-05-13T21:49:00.000+08:00

Yoyoyoyoyoyo!!!!...i'm back to blog over such a friggin long time. Anyway life is just going smooth and sweet for me currently with lots of nice and cool peeps around. We are fighting dreamers! thats the catch phrase of the forth opening of naruto. Nice song. Getting hooked on J-pop alot lately dling lots of songs that i have heard and some of them are really nice. Yes i mean nice. Anyway its May and when may comes i'm hyper-active for the month, afterall its my month aint it?
Wish list for the month, here goes my desires.:
(1.) a larger amplifier for my guitar.
(2.) a new bag
(3.) my gundam and toys
(4.) lets say to be able to get into taka?(achievable)

Anyway life is really good lately that i have nothing much to complain. Finally told kun what i didnt tell her a year before that she really was the best and, oh well, now it seems i'm a happier man. I'm crazy over lion dance lately, thinking of weird ideas and such all of a sudden, i think i'm nuts wait i am! Heh heh...i reckon i should go brush up on my dota-ing for this weds match. This time theres no fooling around but only pure ownage of the opposition! Zhen long, LEx, lets not lose this time, if not our ears are going to ring and hurt alot! And JIJI!!!!! We must psycho shi fu...because LGM's goods are really not suitable for me, i'm too BIG to fit in!

2006-04-23T22:41:00.000+08:00

Woot~~~ Finally i'm here to blog again, you who read should feel honored to be entertained by my heartherning words, or facts that i least out in here. First i want to declare that i'm a happy man now, i've finally moved a step nearer to my dream and with this dream i want to prove many things. So i pray that this dream would come true, nonetheless i wil ltry my best to make it come true. Ag Gong uncle is a good man, and i respect him alot for his generousity and friendliness, but he will make me a happier man if he were to rpovide me with a brand new (note: BRAND NEW) lion head from malaysia that cost only $800 from old man siow for me and jiji to use. I will be even happier than usual. This is the first part.

Second part is meant for my speeches and declarations. Here goes, embrace yourselves for whinings. I've came to realise that in lion dance itself, there are 4 types of people. Firstly, the type that thinks of great things and accomplishes them (eg, JIJI , Great leader and most of the SP people, namely lao da). Then there are the types that do not think about anything but still carry out the plan along with the first group. These are great people, people who make things happen and later enjoy the glory. Then we have those who dare to dream but sit there to only wait for them to slowly happen (don't think i need to spell out the names). Though they know they have the potential and power to do so but still they just sit back and relax. Talking bout making the troupe big and known by how? Sitting at a table and talk and not taking any action, well done! And now we have lastly those who dream alot, who has no skill or what-so-ever, who do not make the effort to even learn it but to only sit there and brag big time about what they want to do and make it seem as though they know alot. Yes, in certain aspects (eg. playing drum) they might be better than a more experienced person but when they say they want to take part in comps and think they can train later due to their piling self-esteem. Dude, get a life, we know you're peanuts. Its ok not to list examples of this kind of people, i think we all know who i am talking about.

Thirdly, today's desert. I want to say this, if you think i'm not the best kind of friend to make, i just want to tell you this, its not me its just that i can no longer take the nonsense from that person. His lame excuses and behavior, i may be nice to him on the contrary but thats not the way it seems to me, in short i'm just playing a nice guy. However when he starts his nonsense, so will i. It's a dog eat dog world, so i dont see whats wrong with me bringing down to the standard of a loser, in which it is a fact that applies to him.

Title today don't have.

2006-04-19T18:48:00.000+08:00

Sian la...everytime type in standard english...lets take turns for a change today come singapore english...lazy to type properly. That black chicken everytime read my blog...why he dun update his blog so i can read also? Today start school at 8 den got 3 hrs break tmd...what they want us to do for 3 hrs? nvm la...at least i went to play lan with classmates, sad to say those who talk alot are not as pro as they talk, but got some really good ones. nvm today i made new frens. this time i can safely say their not geeks though they look geekish. tmr think i going to pang seh chen yong again...go lesson better...why pon clasS? nonoono....lessons are better cuz got aircon. ok la i going to tell him i tmr going for lesson.

Tuesday, April 18

2006-04-18T11:27:00.000+08:00

A series of events have happened over the days, i feel that i have neglected my friends due to the upcoming events of lion dance. I need a life. Totally pang seh'ed kel on his birthday supposedly for training but in the end it turned out that i went to eunos just to watch some crap performance. Great job JJ, well done! PS your friend for some lame performance. Really sorry to ps him though. Oh well, sunday was the same as well, rhoda had invited me over to her church to join them for easter but again i rejected the offer due to lion dance. She said it was ok but chuan linn told me to go for the BBQ at east coast after that, i was suppose to go but then, i went for some dinner instead. To those i PS'ed, SORRY.

School has started, it turns out to be worse than expected. I have crap class mates who comment on simply anything even your name could be commented on. They think their funny but to me i think they are losers, big time losers. Imagine a FATSO who looks like a bull dog walking around thinking he's so damn cool and a non-stop luffing idoit who simply luffs at nothing, why the f*** am i in a class of geeks and losers? This is worse than staying put in 4E7, at least the people in 4E7 are more normal than they are. I simply can't wait for 2nd year to start where i'm far away from them. Hopefully. I dread going to school because of them. Today school starts at 1 but i totally don't feel like going cuase of that screwed class i got into. Screw them all, the course rocks but DBEN\FT\1B\21 sucks big time.

a break i seek.

2006-04-16T01:36:00.000+08:00

Its been freaking busy these few days, running here and there, doing this and that, i leave the house when no one's around and come back to find them sleep and sound. I need a break! I think i need to spend time with my family now that my Dad's gone to Shang Hai to work for a month or so, its been 3 weeks already(if i remembered correctly). Lion dance lion dance lion dance, i think i'm going to spend most of my life on this sport it doesnt gets very boring though at times when u have nothing to work towards to. I've been participating way too much in it, just look at my training schedules its horrifying! I think that would be all for now! Gotta go try cheer some people up. Till then stay cool stay still and stay home...more often that is.

SUCCESS is a game of chess

2006-04-09T17:03:00.000+08:00

Interlude: Incase you people have been mislead by the other post, here i am to put you to assurance for the safe side, i am crazy. It has just striked me to stop complaining or rather update bout my daily lives, instead i should use this ingenius technology to tell you all more about the outcomes of my research on humans.
______________________________________END._________________________________________

Success resembles a game of chinese chess. To be successful is to think a step ahead of your opponent be it in the game or in real life, definitely we don't call them "opponents" when it comes to the real world we call them rivals, be it love rivals, business rivals what-so-ever it's still the same.Thinking a step ahead would secure you with greater chances of winning the battle, and what does it really mean by thinking ahead? Its simple, though it requires lots of thinking, in a game of chess we try to lose lesser pieces as we tend to think the more pieces we have it would pose as a great chance of winning. However, this thinking doesn't apply much to oyu success instead when you try to protect your peices you would see that they will gradually disappear from the board and when all are gone, WHAM! there goes your throne. What i am trying to say is this, sacrifices are to be made, do not underestimate the power of any piece, no matter what role they play in the game they are significant. In life, nobody is insignificant because everyone plays a role in the building of your success neglect one and you can kiss everything goodbye. People you meet in life are not there for no apparent reason, it is only a matter of how or what you do to them. In the battlefield you control your pieces and maneuver them as and how you like them to be likewise you have to do that in the real world. Making full use of a persons intelligence, skills ,resources and most importantly potential but, don't let them know that you are. You have to do it in such a way you do not get discovered so people would not block you from tapping into them. One does not need to be smart inorder to attain success, all he needs to do is to make use of every opportunity he has, but opportunities are hard to come by. That's a lie, a vicious lie that prevents you from seeing the fact that opportunities are everywhere it just disguises itself so that you would miss him. Protect your possesions too much and be a loser in the end, isit worth it? Hell no! Lastly, never underestimate your opponent for he might not be as lousy as he seem, so inorder to win him study him up see for yourself his moves and think of ways to counter them only that way would you be able to surpass him and not to mention anyone else.

ME

2006-04-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

To those woh think that they are better than me and that i am a loser, i beg you, please take a look at yourself in the mirror. I may deem to be weak and small, nothing much of a threat but, let me tell you this, you have never seen anyone better. There are somethings i would like to clarify and that is that i can assure you that i am not harmless. It is but how you view me as. Come let me invite to take a deep dive into my mind. First you would see that i am a venomancer, poisonous and crafty. You may not agree yet, but as time passes by you will soon see the deadly effect. I have to admit, i'm not the sort who forgives others easily, neither would i harbour much hatred for you, but until u get your just deserts would you finally be forgiven. Folly and crappy i might seem, but deep down inside me lies a motive for such acts of stupidity, and that is to find your weakness. My weak and shallow appearance lowers your guard down to your private life allowing me to access you strengths and weaknesses to make full use of them and toy you around. A puppeteer i consider my self to be at times to control your strings making you move the way i want you to. You may not be convinced enough so allow me to rake up further edvidence to support this self proclaim of mine. Let me show you the art of destroying a person, here i am talking about destroying a person, but i don't mean the physical start of a person. No matter how much masses you have built or cultivated it is still useless because the most fragile and vulnerable part of a person is his soul. To destroy him is to completely destroy his soul. First, we study him , then we take away his friends, throw him alone let him experience the pain. Followed on, we destroy the trust that people have for him to make him seem unreliable and that would further deplete his social life. Now we cause unneccessary trouble for him and make him the evil person. Lastly smile through your teeth and tell him "hey duude, its just part of life. " This will secure his trust for you. Congrats you have officially destroyed a person.

But then again you all must feel that you have never knew ME to be such a person, like i've said i am a puppeteer decyfer this as i twist and toy with your brain to see if this is true or not. The answer is for you to make up not for me to tell you.

Loneliness

2006-04-06T02:39:00.000+08:00

As the clouds darken and rain drops fall upon our heads, the water damps our outfits, but as time goes by the shirts and such gets dried. Changes occur everywhere and anywhere ranging from mere evaporation to later, condensation. There's no stopping as to when things will change, similarly the human body changes as time goes by whether isit the mindset the physical body or even the size of the brain, it doesn't matter. Yes, upon kept in a lonely place one cannot help but feel insecure that there is only you and no one else around. Loneliness, the ultimate weapon against me, i'll die if u all use it upon me in the past, however i have adapted myself to these harsh conditions trianed and prepared to face the cruelity of this monstrous evil.

First of all what is loneliness? This is often mistaken as the feeling of being alone. Yes nonetheless be alone is lonely but it doesnt totally display the true meanings of loneliness. Come let me share my conclusion after spending so much time indulged in this despairity. Loneliness refers to having to feel being left out from a group of people, to be uninvolved in interesting things around you, alienated to the surroundings. To have no one to share your personal feelings and thoughts, to be unable to reach out to friends and get across what you are trying to say or for them to understand yourself. These are the proven and tested experiences that i have. My friends mostly regard me as an irritating scream bean who's always going roud to irritate others, maybe that was in the past but i guess it might have left them a deep sunken impression of me. Now at least i know i'm going to a new place with fresh new faces i don't need to have to act like what i do nowadays just to try to stay in the group it seems hyprocritical and tiring to do so....nonono...it doesnt seem, it is. If not for my LD mates i guess right now i'll be hiding home doing nothing all day long. True enough not all friends that i have are like that but lets say the majority in sec sch? Maybe i might be wrong, or rather i have been thinking too much. You see the contrast of being alone at home is different from going out. Frankly speaking i fear going out to meet people, its just inborn even when i was a kid i was way too shy, till now i cant kick this bad habit though sometimes it doesnt seem so. Oh well what can i say? When i'm home everything seems so relaxed there is no need to rush to do anything its just plain own-time own target. There's no need to worry bout others to care if what i do subconciously offending them. Therefore when ever i go out with friends a i keep a distance from them so that i do not annoy them or cause them any displeasure, i guess keeping this gap between me and anybody makes me a heck of an unsociable person. Not really unsocialble but lets just take it as i'm more afraid of them than they are to me. At times i feel the best solution is to keep hush and not utter a word so that there's nothing much to bother, just go along with the group. Unfortunately people fear me, they think i'm insane, nuts or such, its ok. Since they fear me then they should run and cling on to their lives, afterall the only a person can get stronger is to have hatred, so hate me all you guys want and then one day when u have realised that i ain't wrong. The start of this new poly term to me is just like a day out from the prisons or war camps, i breathe the fresh air and all. I can once again live the way i used to in pri school to be myself, just myself, natural and all. So i pray that the school terms would come soon. God bless those whom deserves his blessings and may those who have done wrong against him recieve your punishment for he is the the sign of LOVE, JUSTICE and GRACIOUSNESS.

Memories~~

2006-04-04T15:24:00.000+08:00

8 December 2004, 6 A.M. The day before my troubles were miles away, but since then they seem as though their here to stay. I'm no longer half the man i used to be, theres a shadow hanging over me. The question still lingers till date, why,why did she have to go, she just wouldn't say it out. Perhaps it was i who said something wrong that caused her to go away. To think back right now love was indeed an easy game to play, but now i need to find a place and hide away. If she only knew what i knew but didnt say, and if she could just see the part of me that i hid away, but perhaps like a fool i waited much too long to let her know the truth but she's gone away maybe she'ld stay if only she knew. I've let her knew it only when it was at the last moments......but right now to you, all i am is an invisible man....

When super stars and cannon balls are running through your head, television freak shows, cops and robbers everywhere. Outings make me nervous, people pushing me too far. I need to break away from them so please take my hand and go far. I'm having difficulties keeping to myself, my feelings and emotions are better when left up on the shelf. Sometimes life can get you down, its so confusing cause there're so many rules to follow and from the way i view it, its best for me to run away like none other. I want to live like animals, careless and free, to be able to run through the jungle with the wind in my hair and the sand at my feet. Oh well... apparently life doesn't allow this dream of mine to happen. We'll just have to indulge ourselves in our dreams just to make them SEEM true.

THE STORY OF 2 FRENS

2006-03-31T00:08:00.000+08:00

It was bright and shiny, the exam bell just rang, english has just been erased of the exam time table. The 2 met outside the school gate along with another 2 unimportant characters, so that makes 4. The decision was made they were to go cycling, however some disputes have caused 1 to turn and leave. The trio cycled to labrador park to view the magnificant sea sight and to enjoy the refreshing breeze. The 2 were left cycling to bukit merah and later home, the sparkle of friendship emerged since then. Days passed and they went on a cycling trip again, this time it was the weather blossomed the friendship they both were drenched and soaked in rain water. Till date they have remained best friends, but 1 has to leave for another country to persue his studies.

Screw i cant tell story for nuts, haix anyway time passes real quick these few days. In an wink of the eye schools starting just the week after, disgusting it is. Not to mention the competition dates are drawing nearer, which adds on the the weight of worries and burdens. I have to double my training, when school starts it brings both good and bad news. A) Good- more training days B) Bad- no more slacking around. I'm too used to the life i live now, apart from meeting up with my lion friends, i am all alone at home. I'm afraid of entering a brand new environment to see faces i have never seen and needless to explain the feeling of sitting alone again. Yes i have friends going to the same poly, but still i won't meet them everyday. I have been really happy not being able to meet people i do not want to, or rather should i put it that i avoid meeting them? Well it doesn't matter much, in any case i don't meet them and that is a blessing. Making new friends would pose as an tiring and boring procedure, to be frank i hate ice breaker games. It's meaningless having to introduce yourself to everyone letting them know more bout you when they do not even know you, so whats the point? Yes, poly would be a good place for me to reside in and study, but it would not be a good place for me to slack about. If i should have thought about it earlier, i would rather choose to go the the colleges instead. Having to do your best and making yourself in the top 10% in the polys to ensure a safe place in the universities, wouldn't it have been easier if you had gone to the colleges? Oh well whats the use complaining now? I have chosen my fate and shall continue with it be it good or bad. Enough of the edu talks lets talk bout life. Life has been rather slow and easy going, i have been slacking far too much. Instead of having physical trainings for the comp i have been at home eating and sleeping, pig ain't i? But i don't deny this has been the best few days of my hols. Ok not entirely no training, i went to the gym today did 45 mins of workout and nearly died in there. Wanted to go swimming but the weather forbids me, perhaps i should just go swim in the rain? Why am i so busy lately, isit because i have poor time management in which i push everything together and slack the other days? haha..perhaps so.

The VERDICT is out

2006-03-26T21:20:00.000+08:00

Just as stated on the title, the decision has been made up and yes many have agreed that you should go. I'm sorry but this is really a short sudden notice which might be unfair to you, however the "council" has already decided to get you off. Bryan its time to face up to reality, if you cant commit, don't agree to it because in the end it would be you who'll screw it up. I'm not saying i'm GODLIKE or what-so-ever but at least i can confidently say i'm doing more of my part than you are. Yes, none-the-less my 狮刑 may not be perfect yet but i can assure anyone out there if i want to i can, and in a short time, just like for the NTU performance. I'm certain that you guys have never seen me perform, but that wasnt a tip top conditioned. Due to the demoralisation of seeing troups being more successful than what i was forced to help reluctancy was the key to that untiming performance, but this isn't much about me. It's more about you. i've recieved comments from many and all present the same thoughts that you aren't fit to take part. Or rather should i put it in a nicer way so that you would not feel so hurt, since you're stressed up with your love life and financial problems i shall hereby erradicate you of this burden and set you free to do what you want, but please do not quit or give up the sport just because of this. I'm sure there are opportunities out there waiting for you to grasp.

Let's talk about today. As usual training more and more, but today i still haven shown anyone what i've been training secretly at home. It just seems like everytime i just cant show them, i mean its just that the timings not right. My muscles do not want to move the extra mile for them to see, if this were to happen during comp my life as a lion dancer ends there. So to ensure that the packs move i've decided to put my last few weeks of hols into good use, that is for training to pump myself up to tip top condition and for the distant future of national service. Today, heard Demin complaining to 师夫 bout last nights performance. Can't deny that yes it was a little screwed up with the timing thanks to the unneccessary performance, so why can't the CC just provide us with the dough and lets us mold ourselves up? Well this is what i think, first we get into the competitions, get into the semi finals(TAKA) then from there at least we would be known more or less to others. That way we gain a little of fame and respect from other troupes, at least they now of our existance. This way we also prove ourselves useful and qualitied to those old man at the CC, maybe then would they want to sponsor us more things and allow us to handle things on our own. In short it's the way you package your sevices and sell them off. Right now we should just accept what with have and try to make something out of it, do not put the survice charges to high or it'll scare the customers away. Instead we should do our best for our customers to let them know that yes we can do a good job that way we can branch from a small firm to maybe and Multi-national company. This would be the best solution out.

(PS: TO MR KWAN CHIH FAI, YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT A WINNER IN ANY CASE. EVE N IF YOU WENT TO A JC IT DOESN'T PROVE A THING AND STOP BUGGING ME FOR YOU ARE CERTAINLY IRRITATING)

Winners and LOSERS

2006-03-22T19:15:00.000+08:00

Today on my way down to outram in a train you could see the difference between people. This contrast depicts them as winners or losers. First, lets talk about the loser, yes all was quiet on the train until one particular person started shouting hokkien vulgarities talking loudly to who? Someone on the other line of the phone, was there such a need to? Yes, then we see the people who try to be cool. Those who's hair that are styled in such a way that it points out 360 degrees with peircings all over their faces, are they dumb or wad? Do you think they are cool? I think not, i think they are losers. People who just don't want to be natural and try their best to be better and more out-standing(standing outside) apparently some made it, to those who did congrats, but to those who didn't wake up pls theres no way you're gonna be cool. So why not just try being yourself?

Next winners, who do u classify as a winner? Those who study so much and make it big on the papers? If they are winners i'm afraid their a whole lot of losers out there those who didnt make it on the papers. So don't think that they are academically smart that makes you feel inferior to them, now that is the loser's spirit. Why not take a look at how street smart they are? I bet you some of them are zero when it comes to being street smart. Well the real winners are those who are academically smart and street smart. Then again don't force yourself to be one just because you lack either ability. Everyone is unique, theres no way i am totally better than you or you are totally better than me. Therefore, if someone comes up to you and challenges you in anyway don't take up the challenge, it just shows how stupid you are to follow him because if he issues you the challenge isn't it obvious that it would mean he's better at it? First, in the challenge he'll put you down by level. Then he wins you by experience. Last of all he'll be mocking you then on, so is there a point in taking the hussle up? It would only prove as a burden. Instead you should just turn and smile at him, treat it as nothing has happened not even looking the least bothered about him. This would clearly distinguish who is the loser and who is the winner. And it shows that you have 风度. So clearly display this "大人不记小人措" and it'll help you score.

Titless

2006-03-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

Haix....been rather busy these few days with lots of lion dance programmes flooding my daily life. First lets start with last friday, had to wake up freaking early and make my way to bukit batok, midview building to help out 文扬 den after that went to do up the drum car with jiji and gang. Night was training tiring day. Well sat was not much of a disaster just that it was another for me to wake up early once again to make my way down to woodlands to help Republic poly. Glad the troubles are over along with the NTU lion dance display. Went out with Gen Boonsen, vincent ,chris, sixing ,max and the usual tag-along dog. He's getting on my nerves lately, and alot. Don't know why but what everyone says about him is true, lets not talk about after competition. Even now before going for comp he's already treating himself as some pro in LD. Like NICsays we shall give him this one more week before we conclude and decide to have a change on him taking part in the competitions. Though i sincerely hope that i can team up with JIJI which would further secure my dreams of getting into TAKA , but i had already made the wrong choice in choosing bryan, so within this week we'll see how everything goes and i'm sure many will support the idea of me teaming up with JIJI or at least someone else . There's really nothing much more to blog about, so i guess this is just it.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

2006-03-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i was out for training. It was the first time we really trained for real, we had training camp. A six hour training session. Was really unable to do my best for training cause i ate before jumping around, so the food must have jumbled up in there and caused weights to my stomach. Lion dance is taking over my life recently which is kinda good. I can hang out more often with my lion family. As per normal after training we would watch annoynimous tapes of competitions or crap, and later we went out. Felt bad when everyone had to give in to me and have jap food for dinner, cause it was my idea? Could see the reluctancy in Gen's eyes but they all still went along. GOMENE!. Next i brought them to bakerzinn at One Fullerton and later proceeded to a pub with randy after our dismissal

Today, i was looking at the chapters of my life.Faded memories of me and kun, mistakes i know i've made a few. Remember taking shots to attain greater heights but failed from time to time, but she was always there for me. I have to admit life with her than was the best, though she often had to look out for important stuffs in school for me. She would definitly be a very good girlfriend, but i ways dumb then to not be able to see that. Silly me. Anyway she's with someone else now and i could only gaze at her from afar, lets just hope the guy would treat her at least a hundred or thousand times better than i did. Hope they'll always be happy together? Enough of the emo talks, lets get down to earth. I just realised that dreams are somehow the cause as to why reality is cruel. The failure to achieve your dreams causing you to live in despair and dejection. So to face and live up to reality happy and carefreely the best solution is not to dream. However, without dreams, one won't get anywhere. So now what do we do? I suggest the best remedy for this contradicting situation would be that we have to make realistic dreams that are within our reach and could be attained through every drop of our sweat. Therefore, this yaer my dream would be to get into the TAKA competitions along with all my friends!

Tommorrow, days and days time is passing, in the rain snow is glistening a wonderful life i'll be happy to die walking in the beauty of our GOD. Tommorrow lies a mystical adventure that awaits us to unfold, though we know we would not be happy doing certain things tmrw *shan't say* but, oh well, we should brush it aside with a wide smile on our faces and get on with it!

Yesterday, today forever jesus is the same, all may change but jesus never. Glory to his name!

LIFE

2006-03-10T01:18:00.000+08:00

Been busy recenTly thus the lack of time to update my thoughts. Anyway while i'm away on training and working i've discovered many truths bout life. First, we shall uncover the history of the past few days. As far as i can rememeber, we went to the movies on monday. Chau invited us out? Heh my best pal. made a pair of specs from his fathers shop. kinda nice though but it still looks weird to me? I'm a weirdo anyway. Final destination was what we watched, yes gory it was but it was overall a nice show? The way they died were so comical that couldn't possibly happen in real life like from mere pics you could tell the way a person dies? Nvm bout that. Went to work on tues, seriously speaking it sucks big time so do that job, but for the cash i don't care! Heh Heh. Been with JIN QUAN all day since tues. Swam a total of a hundred laps yesterday and realised that with determination nothing is impossible. Which is true? Shall go for a 150 tmr! heh...Training has finally paid off for all the sweat i put in to train for stamina it just gives the satisfaction when you see the improvement, but then again there should not be room for complacency but only improvements. The only person i want to thank is NICHOLAS for having train me my stamina? hahaha. Anyway heres wad i discovered. Life is always fair and people should stop complaining bout it not being. Just for any action done, there's always a effect behind it. Take for example being attached and being single, yes it is good to be single. You get all the freedom you want in life and can almost do anything without being tied down to unneccessary commitments. However the price to pay for such carefree life is the loneliness when you are old. You would yearn to have a mate to accompany you, but by then wouldn't it be too late? Similarly, if u were attached, a bomb has to be spent on your girlfriend. Not only so you have to commit yourself to the relationship and at times pay much more attention to your mate than anything else.Life would not be as carefree as it is when you're single, but it secures you with a person to accompany you when you are feeling lonely or bored, isn't it just nice to be that way? Anyway the bottom line is GOD made the world balanced, so there's no point complaining that the world aint no fair or GOD has paid lesser attention in creating you. Instead we should all rejoice in his name and invite him to our empty hearts for he is salvation. GOD will never and i mean NEVER dissapoint you, even if he did at one time, a greater or rather better thing/person would be out there somewhere made for you. So don't give up faith just because he doesn't grant you your wishes, he's not santa afterall. LOLx so much blabbering so thats all for now.

<>

POSTING DAY!!!!

2006-03-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

Today my fate was sealed, i have been posted to SP bio engineering course. Thats good, but heres the sad thing, i'm going there alone. Well i guess it should be ok since i'm so used to being alone even in times of despair. Haha. Just like yesterday, i went to orchard all by myself to get a pair of slippers and a pouch. The amazing thing was i didnt feel at all lonely. It was as if the people around me didnt exist. Style! Anyway today i did many freaky things. Swam 60 laps within 1 hour at the pool downstairs. Then i had nasi lemak at 3 and then proceeded to my grandma's house. She seem delighted to see me, don't know why. Well, forced down another plate of rice with lots of ingredients. Bloated i was. Went for training today and it shocked me when shi fu suddenly asked me to train for the competition! Cool, he finally understands. The sad thing is, he wasn't really keen on letting perform the item i wanted. Oh well he says it was dangerous, but if we started training now, it wouldn't be. Plus i weigh only 55kg shouldn't be much of a problem for bryan who's all big and strong? Anyway, anyhow training has started, and as i said i will make an effort to get into TAKA that is this year's goal. Want to let everyone know that we West Coast CC are good! Hmm...don't think i'll be updating tmr cuz i'll be very tiredi think? Until then, may elune be praised!

NOTHING MUCH TODAY

2006-02-28T22:35:00.000+08:00

As said there's nothing much to mention bout today cause i woke up only at 4 in the evening. After that went to swim immediately. Did 30 laps again, but this time it wasn't tiring, interesting ain't it to swim 30 laps and not feel tired. Over the years i gradually found out that determination is all that one need to succeed in life. Knowledge is limited therefore there's no point just having great knowledge and no determination or creativity. This year my goal is to get into the TAKA competitions hopefully it will happen so been training now. And very hard indeed? Didnt go to work today, felt that there was no need for me to be there today, stupid place for a smart person like my cousin and I. It makes us dumb just even thining of going there, cant really understand why i decided to work there in the first place. Perhaps it was for money. Anyway, anyhow thats all for today not much in the mood of story telling or complaining just gotta say sorry to ah gong if he ever see this that is.

THE POWERS OF MAGIC ARE WHIMPSICLE TILL DATE.

EXHUASTION AND SIANZATION

2006-02-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

Been back to the old workplace, scary it was to see the old faces of certain people i do not like. Oh well 162 bucks just flew back into my pocket. Alright cut short the story, today was kinda the worse day. After going to collect the debt, went to my couz place for dinner. The food was good!? haha..haven eaten at his place for a relatively long time. Anyways my painful job is ending soon! Thats good! Happy bout it, however it also means i'm gonna be off-sourced for cash. Dang need the dough to do stuff. My body aint moving the way it should be the muscles are all tensed up and hardened due to the over excercising over the past few days. Superbly tired right now , therefore shall stop using anymore of my brain juice and end here.

Yachiru is damn cute!

2006-02-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

[mood: hectic]
Rush hour!!!
Today was freaking rushed. First i woke up at 935 when i was suppose to get to smartvoice by 10! Got up jumped into my outing suit and dashed out the door. Spent a totalof $7.50 on that cab fare, ever since i started working i've been taking cab here and there. Shall put an end to this bad habit. Work as usual was boring, you do repeat the same thing for a hundred over times. "Hi is XXXX there? Hi, i'm desmond calling from ITE's graduate affairs department. We're currently building up an alumni database....blah blah blah..." get a life!!! I need one! The sad thing was when u have met the basic requirements of 100 calls a day and decided to take a break from the hearing of ringing tones and clicking of mouse, you decide to relax yourself and sink into some games, but NO!!! Auntie vivian would not allow that. "You have the least calls! Others all twenty and above my boss see this sure scold me" hais..and what am i to tell her? Perhaps Jack Neo shouldn't just do a movie on kids life in school, maybe he should do one on the office life at work. Show those people-in-charge how the subordinates feel. haha..Completed 30 laps of water excercise to day...hmm..think i spent 2.5 hours swimming. Finally there was dinner! Today was Quan Da's and Quan Yu's basudae, had a wonderful time no? Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the 2 of them!

There and back a mond's tale, doodle draggins

2006-02-25T03:37:00.000+08:00

kurei

2006-02-25T03:06:00.000+08:00

24/02/06 I NOT STUPID DAY
AR! THE GREAT OUTDOORS!
As said yes today was a complete meaningful day, have never felt so contented with a day for ages! Wonderful. Praise the LORD! haha..and so the things i did today. Well it was nothing much, went to the movies with ka-chan , chuan linn and erm...her sis? wahahaha the look alike though, well their sisters afterall. The movie screened today was I"M NOT STUPID. Losa lame stuffs on the show....from the grandma being hip with her "cool man" , "so lame" and "whatever". overall it was a nice movie. Oh yes bout ka-chan and frens..hmm...it took me a while to process and recall who they were when i saw them? heh heh..sorry havent seen u guys for ages so its lyk erm...a blur memory of you all? heh heh..well we ate sat and talked at cineleisure's pasta mania. We all had the same food? Beef bolognese spaghetti. Well as usual playing around with the cheese and tobasco sauce and suddenly ka-chan starts bursting into lufter recalling on a LAME advertisement of a mosquito sucking a person's blood and later explodes because the person had tobasco sauce. FREAKY aint it that such small matters could cause her to be luffing non-stop.

As usual girls do what they are best gossiping bout stuffs in the year book., well its their nature who could blame them? From MR KOH to MRS sim and later to someone whom i regard as a piece of raw gem that was never within my reach. Haix...why do they have to keep putting me with her? Irritating and annoying.

Oh yes! the imperfect thing of today was to have some moron to message me and seek directions from a place of which i've only been thrice...how am i suppose to know? i don't study the roads....haix..the same thing as always we quarrel....and well he had to use sarcasm again. "SO YOU'RE JUST A POSUER" to hell with you. Am i to solve your problems just because i now how to get to places better than you do? RETARD! Well i just gave him whatever he wanted so that he doesnt come bugging me anymore. Why does it seem that i always give in?

After the movie i rushed off from orchard took a freaking cab back to west coast to meet gen and boon seng. Had a super fun time with them. Crapped up anything we could at sakura! and hey anyone knows this but GEN WAS IN DANCE!! (ps: picture her with the 2 bundles tied on her head) weird it had me and boon seng luffing. Hahaha...training was slack or should i say there wasnt training. Well its late and i still have work tmr..sad aint it to work on a beautiful saturday morning...well this would be the last sat that i'll work on...so i guess i'll just put up a nice show? Haha!

There and back again, a mond's tale by the man himself.

2006-02-24T01:35:00.000+08:00

For years have i been too submisive or rather should i say kind to others as i have often thought that being nice to others would secure a definite "YES" that others would be nice to you. Ignorant and foolish i have been. Definitely! The world is not so pure to this extent. Betrayal..In truth it was i who was betrayed by these thoughts.Yes being nice would mean that others MIGHT treat u nice but the percentage of this "MIGHT" seems to be slightly off the average of 50. Disgusting aint it? To realise that all these while what you have been doing is nothing but being a clown that only brings entertainment to others.The bible teaches us "do what you want others to do unto you". Yes with the hope and naiveness i have to blindly follow the word, i have failed to realise the cruelity of truth, this does not comply to the human world. I am not mocking the words of GOD i am just questioning this phrase because humans do not deserve his grace not even if they turn to him and submit their souls to him to trust him and believe in him. What is this injustice i suffer? What is this treatment i get from? Instincts. Human instincts they call it. To protect what is only counted important to you, to only accept what is up to your expectations, to never believe in a person totally. Are this all there is to the human instincts.....NO...not even a the kindest, most perfect person til date can do without. To pratice the real way of self sacrificial to save others than yourself to never fully display others before self attitude. Why then do us humans deserve to be admited into GODS reign? I say that those who should be allowed to enter his kingdom were to be the animals and unborn infants who do not know the truth about life. I despise humans. The thought that i am one of them disgust me.

Humans are weak, they are stupid and needless to say unfilial.
No one in my life have i completely seen untempted by something. Humans cannot resist the simple desire they have when placed infront of them, no sound man would resist the thought of pleasure placed before their eyes nor have any of them been able to resist doing something against their will in times of desperation.
No one is ever contented with what they have, they can never stop asking for more. Greed drives a man blind. Just like the passed case of a man being pumped in 5 bullets into his skull...why did that happen? How did the gun get smuggled in? The answer to these questions simply revolve around two words, greed and laziness. Greed cause the wanting of power which seeks one to eliminate those who are better than themselves to attain the supreme control of things which inturn creates hatred to another. This cycle never ends when A hates B and B gets killed by A, b the son or relative of B grows up to hate A and thens to eliminate A from the world. Now a agian the son of A would hate b and cause him harm. This way the cycle would continue on and on and on, never an end to it. Isn't this ironic? The fighting just never stops. And one day when C stops in and say " hey lets stop this fighting" when the time comes for him to realise that his love one has been implicated and murdered would he still say "hey lets stop the fighting" or would he be driven by madness which instigates him to take up a knife? And here i am mocking the stupidity and weakness of humans, would someone out there be happy with it? The truth about the world does not end here.